X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 697DFDEB57 for ; Sun, 17 Sep 2006 08:08:32 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 14148-05 for ; Sun, 17 Sep 2006 08:08:17 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 203.16.214.203 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=203.16.214.203; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net; Received: from smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net (smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net [203.16.214.203]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 84C63DEB58 for ; Sun, 17 Sep 2006 08:08:17 +1000 (EST) Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net (8.13.6/8.13.5) with ESMTP id k8GM7XfK074279 for ; Sun, 17 Sep 2006 07:38:15 +0930 (CST) (envelope-from info@fathersonline.org) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 17 Sep 2006 08:07:39 +1000 Thread-Topic: Making Our Children Feel Special Reply-To: Message-ID: <2d2b01c6d9dc$85f5d170$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcbZ3IXz9nNnoWDMSjKwp8l68uvX5w== From: To: Subject: Making Our Children Feel Special Date: Sun, 17 Sep 2006 08:07:39 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_2D2C_01C6DA30.57A1E170" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2757 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 16 Sep 2006 22:07:39.0031 (UTC) FILETIME=[85F84270:01C6D9DC] X-TM-AS-Product-Ver: SMEX-7.2.0.1122-3.6.1039-14694.000 X-TM-AS-Result: Yes-7.575500-5.000000-31 X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (1942 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 2237 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_2D2C_01C6DA30.57A1E170 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 211 - 11 th September, 2006 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Hello Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads=20 * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Warwick =20 Fathering from the Fast Lane is without doubt one of the best books on fathering written by an Australian author that I know. Dr Bruce Robinson (http://www.brucerobinson.com.au/) has become a friend of mine. He is a devoted father of four and a passionate advocate for excellence in fathering. =20 Bruce is also passionate about his sport. When I last visited Perth, Western Australia he insisted on taking me to the 'Holy Grail of Australian rules ' - the Subiaco Oval so that we could watch the West Coast Eagles beat some obscure team from Victoria. =20 Dr Bruce Robinson is currently overseas on a study tour but he spoke so clearly to us on Thursday night, it was as if he was the in the same room. In a way he was. On Thursday night we watched a DVD of Dr Bruce Robinson at our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course. The subject was 'Friendship and Fun with Your Family'. =20 In this topic Bruce invites dads to get on the Fatherhood BUS: =20 B - Being there for your children U - Unconditional love S - Make your child feel SPECIAL =20 Bruce divides 'being there' into being with our children and being there for our children. He asked the poignant question, "Do our children really know that we will always be there for them no matter what?" A difficult question to answer, as so much of our love is conditional, meaning that we will love people if they do certain things for us. We often apply do this to our children. I was not the only one shifting uneasily in my seat that night. =20 =20 Secondly Bruce spoke about 'U', unconditional love. My good friend Wayne Larkin has often said to me that we need to re-define love because our society has pretty well destroyed the word 'love'. Wayne believes we have to add the word 'unconditional' to the front end of love to help give it real meaning. I'm sure Bruce Robinson would agree with him. =20 Bruce told a story of a famous female singer, who was leading a pretty wild and sordid lifestyle, who decided to go back to visit her small home town in rural USA. Her father made himself scarce and left town rather than put up with the shame associated with her visit to his small tight knit community. A few months later that same singer died from a drug overdose. Her name, for those who can still remember the sixties, was Janis Joplin. Some say that if you can remember the sixties, you probably didn't live through them. Janis Joplin certainly didn't survive those tumultuous times. Bruce's question was, "Would she have died if her father had welcomed her back with unconditional love?" a question that will never really be answered, but certainly a prevalent question on teenage suicide notes. 'Nobody is there for me' or 'nobody loves me' is a very common note written by teenagers who suicide. =20 Thirdly Bruce spoke about the need for making our children feel special. At Good to Great this week I asked the men to talk about their fathers and how he made them feel special. One man shared how his dad used to invite him to hang out with him while they worked in his truck over the summer holidays. They used to fix gear boxes, replace motors and have wonderful messy times together. He felt special because his Dad took time to be with him. Another shared how he grew up in a very poor family with seven siblings. He said his dad would share his meat with his children at the dinner table, often only having a potato or small amount of rice left for himself. =20 =20 Such stories are examples of fathers who were able to make their children feel special and who have multiplied the fruit of their love and commitment to future generations in more ways than one. Let's follow in their footsteps. =20 Lovework =20 Make your children feel special this week and have some fun at the same time. If you do they will never forget it. =20 Yours for making our children feel special. Warwick Marsh =20 PS Good to Great is going well. We have received numerous enquiries about running the course in other areas. That is our goal. If you would like to assist us in helping other fathers benefit from Good to Great, why not make a tax deductible donation today and invest in future generations. Details on how to give are found in the 'Help' section of this newsletter. ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is=20 the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 Too much love never spoils children, children become spoiled when we substitute 'presents' for 'presence'. =20 Dr Anthony P Witham back to top=20 =20 Laughter Kid's Prayers =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Single Dads=20 =20 Call to Action =20 By Simon Hunt =20 Dear Friends =20 Please put your own name to the following letter and submit it to you local editor of your local paper. Please feel free to change anything you want. Please follow up by phone to 'connect' with the editor so it gets published.=20 This personalised mass submission system (PMS) is especially effective in country regions where editors feel under pressure to support their community and where local MPs are more easily influenced. Also it avoids the Gender Separatist censorship common in the metro papers.=20 =20 Regards Simon Hunt 03 5973 6933 0414 415 693 email@dashlite.com.au =20 =20 =20 Letter to the editor =20 The Judiciaries approach to criminal and commercial matters is entirely appropriate. i.e.: they decide who the culprit is and who the victim is and punish or compensate them respectively. This does not work in Family Law where a child's best interests are served by protecting them from having one of their parents vilified and excluded. Young children's sense of identity is of course strongly associated with their parents. It causes them enormous distress to have one of them removed from their lives. It also exposes them to higher risk of abuse and neglect. You can go into the Family Court on any day of the week and see Judges handing down orders that reduce father's access to their children to less than two days a fortnight - sometime no 'Contact' at all, often banning telephone contact as well, in response to allegations of 'abuse'.=20 =20 They are now supposed to give dads 'significant or substantial time' with their kids - but=20 only if they first decide dad can share 'responsibility' and if there no allegations of abuse.=20 =20 Mediation through the new Family Relationship centres won't change anything. All of them are run by organizations that made submissions opposing equal time shared parenting to the Government enquiry into Family Law. This, despite the overwhelming support of shared parenting by ordinary Australians. The so called reforms to family law represent a cruel deception, raising false hopes of fathers who desperately want to stay involved with their children. Instead the very complexity of the legislation bolters the fees of the lawyers and practitioners who feed off the misery of children and their parents. Until children are protected from having one of their parents vilified and removed, Family Law will continue to be a cruel hoax perpetrated against our precious children for profit. =20 Kind regards (insert your name)=20 back to top=20 =20 All you need is Love =20 FILMMAKERS LOOKING FOR LASTING LOVE IN SALT LAKE Deseret Morning News =20 September 14, 2006 By Elaine Jarvik =20 He remembers one of the older couples telling him that "when you share your life with someone, you're going to be uncomfortable some of the time, and I don't know if your generation can put up with that." =20 Mat Boggs is related to a lot of people whose marriages have ended in divorce, including his twice-divorced father, who is a marriage counselor. So Boggs decided it might be best to look for role models elsewhere. =20 Jason Miller, back left, and Mat Boggs interview Vera and George Schrader in downtown Salt Lake for a documentary on marriage. =20 "I wanted to go to people who had walked the talk," says the 29-year-old Boggs, who with his buddy Jason Miller began a quest to find the secrets to lifelong marriages. The 28-year-old bachelors, friends since the third grade in Oregon, are touring the country interviewing couples who have been married at least 40 years. =20 This week they're looking for love in Salt Lake City, which brought them on Wednesday to a love seat at the downtown Hilton Hotel. There, in a scene reminiscent of "When Harry Met Sally," several Utah couples took turns staring into a camera and talking about why they've stayed together. =20 Boggs and Miller's Project Everlasting has already produced a DVD, and a book that will be published next spring. Their current interviews will be part of a follow-up DVD. =20 In the beginning, says Miller, the two bachelors would ask lengthy, convoluted questions that reflected their own over-thought, 20-something preoccupations. And the answer would be something like "I don't know what you just asked me, but I love her." =20 Miller says he went on the tour "to be inspired to ever get into a marriage." At 28 he's been happily single, maybe even too comfortable, he says. He remembers one of the older couples telling him that "when you share your life with someone, you're going to be uncomfortable some of the time, and I don't know if your generation can put up with that." =20 From hundreds of hours of interviews, the two friends have pieced together some observations they hope will help them and other young people learn how to stay married. The major threads, not surprisingly, turn out to be acceptance, respect, marriage over work (and even over children), a desire to sacrifice for the other, and a realization that even if life takes a bad turn or the relationship itself temporarily sours, it's possible to make the marriage last. =20 "There were three interviews in a row where they used the same word: stick-to-itiveness," Miller says. "It takes the perspective of a whole lifetime to understand that." =20 On Wednesday morning, Miller and Boggs interviewed two Utah couples, LaWanna and Larry Goodrich of Roy, and Vera and George Schrader of Salt Lake City. The Goodriches, who have been married 51 years, and the Schraders, who have been married 58, were nominated by their children and grandchildren after Project Everlasting got a plug on the "Today Show." =20 Neither Larry nor LaWanna could think of a time when they have ever really been mad at each other. Well, maybe that one time when they were trying to put tint on the back window of their car and the conversation went something like "Hold that up." "I am holding that up." =20 But during the first two years of the marriage, when they were just getting to really know each other, LaWanna wrote her mom to complain about something, maybe the way Larry rolled up the toothpaste, she can't remember, and her mom wrote back, "Now LaWanna, that's the ups and downs of married life, and you've just got to get used to it." =20 Like the Goodriches, the Schraders said that shared spiritual values have helped keep them together. And George noted that whenever he came home from work, Vera "always looked presentable. So I didn't have to look somewhere else." Even that one time when he came home to find that, after several years of asking if they could remodel the bathroom, Vera had taken a sledgehammer to the cabinets and the floor, they didn't get mad at each other. =20 On the other hand, "certain couples can't agree on anything, but it still works for them," Miller says. =20 He says he and Boggs have noticed that some successful marriages seem to be between "good buds who wanted to do life together," and some couples seemed to "have just fallen into marriages." But a third group seems to have known from the first moment that they were destined for each other. =20 This last group is Miller's favorite. "They're the most in love, and it shows. They'll spend the whole interview staring at each other," he says. "And the way they sit together - you can't fit a ruler between them." =20 =A9 2006 Deseret News Publishing Company back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 =20 =20 Let your children know often that you love them just the way they are. =20 Taken from 10 Commandments for Effective Fathers back to top=20 =20 Special Feature Steve Irwin on Family Taken from Andrew Denton's Interview 6 October 2003 Full Transcript http://www.abc.net.au/tv/enoughrope/transcripts/s960998.htm =20 Andrew Denton: Do you ever get down? You talked about being frightened by human behaviour. What gets you down?=20 Steve Irwin: Um, I've been down, mate, I've been down, I've been way down. I've been down...I've been down as far as anyone can go down, mate. I lost my mum in a car crash. I went down, I went right down. I watched my dad suffer. I watched my whole family suffer. And I have never felt pain like that in my entire life, my friend. And what it did for me was it actually hammered home the whole family value thing and what it's like to have a family and you're all...everybody's someone's mum, you know? And I was down, I was down for the count. I was down for...two years I was down. Way down.=20 Andrew Denton: You...=20 Steve Irwin: Pain.=20 Andrew Denton: You truly adore your parents, don't you?=20 Steve Irwin: I love my parents just so much, mate. You know, like my mum... How'd you be, you know? I was born on her birthday, and all she ever did was just love me and prop me up and get me back out in there. And my dad - just the legend of the universe. When I was the tiniest little kid, Andrew, I'd look up at my dad and he was larger than life, he was just like this action hero. He was everything I wanted to be. And all I've done in my life is follow in his footsteps, mimic him and try to be him. And nowadays I just try to make him proud, mate. Yeah, I love my parents like nothing else. It's just... They are everything to me - absolutely everything. And the day that my mum went was the day I lost something. I lost something. I lost something really big.=20 Andrew Denton: It's interesting when you say you've mimicked your parents, you look up to your dad, you've basically carried on the family business. Do you have a sense of yourself as yourself? What will it be for you when your father goes? Will you be able to be yourself?=20 Steve Irwin: I see my dad getting older and older and older, and I must admit I'm scared, I'm really, really scared, that when I lose him that my life is going to change yet again. I am going to go down again. But I'm really lucky that I've got the most drop-dead gorgeous wife on earth, who is just so strong and so passionate and so Stevo-orientated.=20 =20 LAUGHTER=20 Steve Irwin: No, mate, you wouldn't... She is... If I said, "Righto, sweetheart, today we're going to jump off a cliff," she'll go, "Righto." She'd pack a bag, though.=20 Andrew Denton: Yeah.=20 Steve Irwin: But she'd go, eh?=20 Andrew Denton: She's practical.=20 Steve Irwin: Yeah, I've got this thing...I've got the Terry factor, mate. I've got this wife that is so incredibly intelligent and strong that I reckon between us we'll get through it. And, of course, my daughter is like...she's going to be a Tibetan monk. She is, like, incredibly insightful. And when her gran died, she was very, very young but, you know, she'd hold my hand and she'd give me strength. And to this day, when I get an owie, like a croc bites me, you know, she'd put banana leaves on it and stuff, and, you know, make me feel good.=20 Andrew Denton: Yeah.=20 Steve Irwin: I guess when that time comes, because... I'm not sure what's going to happen but I've got some strong people, good strong family around me, mate.=20 Andrew Denton: You say that Terry's very Stevo-oriented.=20 Steve Irwin: Oh, yeah.=20 Andrew Denton: If Terry said to you, unlikely though this might be, "Steve, I want you to stop the travelling, I want you to just stay home," would you be prepared to do that? Does it work both ways? She'd jump over a cliff for you.=20 Steve Irwin: Absolutely, I'd do anything for her. Absolutely anything. My word. I got so lucky in 1992 when she walked into the zoo. I'm doing a crocodile demonstration, and I looked in the crowd. I'd been in the bush for two years catching crocs. Haven't seen any sheilas.=20 =20 LAUGHTER So, yeah, I was hungry. And, um, come back and I'm doing a croc demo, and I look into the crowd and I see her and I'm, like, "Oh!" (Looks one way) "Whoa whoa whoa!" (Looks back at imaginary croc) To feed the croc, you know... Bloody croc tried to kill me and that. She stayed back and started talking to me and that was it - head over heels in love. And if she says to me, "That's it, we're stopping, we're doing this," then, well, I'd do it, because I know that she would not ask me to do that if it wasn't for the benefit of us - the family. It would have to be for the benefit of my daughter and our kid that's due to come. Otherwise she wouldn't ask. She's not that...you know, she's not that kind of sheila, you know? She's into what I'm into. She's as passionate about wildlife as I am. If I said, "Go up and stick your head in that elephant's bum," she'd do it, mate.=20 Andrew Denton: You're a smooth talker, Steve Irwin.=20 Steve Irwin: I am, mate. I am. Romantic.=20 . . . . . . . . Andrew Denton: What's your philosophy of fatherhood?=20 Steve Irwin: Um...my philosophy of fatherhood? You know, I just treat her exactly the same way as I would want to be treated. And, you know, the funny thing is, Andy, I treat my wildlife the same, you know? Like, if there was a croc there, I'd treat that croc like I'd treat my daughter, like I'd treat you, like I'd treat my wife, like I'd treat anyone. I treat things how I, in turn, would want to be treated. So my little kid, I just treat her how I want to be treated. You know how... My mum said, "You can't have ice-cream for breakfast." (Pretends to hand bowl to daughter) "Here, sweetheart, have it." . . . . . . . Steve Irwin: And, um... Sorry, sweetheart. But, um, we really, really wanted to have a boy, but now, you know, going through the ultrasound and all that, we've said to the obstetrician, "Look, don't tell us. We don't want to know," because it doesn't matter. It's not like we can throw it back. It's not like we're not going to keep it. And, um, lo and behold, Bindi wants a sister anyway. So Bindi, you know, she really wants a sister. The reason being, every single night of her life, even when we're up in Cape York Peninsula, just had a big day catching crocs... We sleep together, myself and my daughter, you know, always that's the last thing at night. We sit there and she wants to hear a 'Daddy story', and it always has to be, um..."What do you want to hear, sweetheart?" "I want a Daddy story." "OK." "I want it when you were a naughty boy." Like, I've got a thousand of those...or more! And, um, and so I've told her all these naughty-boy stories, so there's no way she wants a brother. 'Cause my sisters also tell Bindi how I was a pretty hectic sort of a brother to have - really heavy, really hectic.=20 . . . . .=20 Andrew Denton: What do you... What do you and Terry fight about? 'Cause all couples fight.=20 Steve Irwin: Yeah, we do. Yeah, oh, mate. The worst one we had was a bonzer. I said, "What is it? What are you so grumpy about? What do you hate about me?" She's like, "Oh, I can't believe you just take your shirts off, and throw them in the wash. Why don't you undo your buttons like a normal person?" =20 =20 =A9 2006 ABC=20 back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Encouraging Parents too rare http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20392816-5007146,00.html =20 =20 =20 Brock affair 'shattered family' =20 By Michael Bodey and Alana Buckley-Carr September 12, 2006 01:00am Torn apart ... the former husband of Peter Brock's partner Julie Bamford says the relationship ruined two families. / News Limited picture=20 THE estranged husband of Peter Brock's partner, Julie Bamford, has spoken for the first time about how the motor racing champion had "wrecked two families". Ron McCurdy said Brock's death last week only exacerbated the pain his family felt when Ms Bamford abruptly left him and their two children in May last year for what she described on Sunday as "an exceptional journey of love and growth". "I'll try and help her through it if she wants," Mr McCurdy said of his wife of 36 years. "But she wouldn't want that because she didn't realise what she put us through when she left."=20 Mr McCurdy also poured scorn on Brock's contention that he and his partner of 28 years, Bev Brock, merely drifted apart before calling it quits last year.=20 "I feel very, very sorry for Bev," he said.=20 "Julie and Peter had been together for 15 years. What he said to everyone about falling out of love with Bev is crap."=20 Ms Brock last year released her book, Peter Brock - Living With a Legend, in which she wrote of the racing driver's philandering. ( "Eventually, though, I made a decision. It was the early 90s and there had been one too many secretaries," she wrote.=20 Brock died when his Daytona sports coupe slammed into a tree at Gidgegannup, 40km east of Perth, on Friday, during the Targa West rally. As police yesterday recovered the vehicle data acquisition system, or black box, from the wreckage of Brock's coupe, his family and Ms Bamford were preparing to accompany his body home to Melbourne today.=20 The data recorder will provide details of the car's movements including speed, braking, wheel slippage and steering-wheel angle when the vehicle crashed.=20 It is believed the Brock family has accepted an offer from the Victorian Government for a state funeral, the details of which will be announced today.=20 Mr McCurdy admitted he contemplated suicide when his wife left without warning. They have not divorced.=20 Although the two families were long-term friends, Mr McCurdy conceded he saw Ms Bamford and Brock's relationship brewing. "There was a bit of closeness there but I didn't think it would go that far."=20 Mr McCurdy said Bev and Julie regularly met with another close girlfriend to discuss Peter Brock's affairs, but that they no longer spoke to each other.=20 In July, Mr McCurdy was fined $700 and ordered to undertake an anger management course after an incident last year in which he punched Brock in the nose. That was the last contact between the mates of 15 years, who first met when their wives played sport together. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20394212-2,00.html =20 _________________________________________________________________ Child Support Legislation Amendment=20 (Reform of the Child Support Scheme - New Formula and Other Measures) Bill 2006 The Senate, on the recommendation of the Selection of Bills Committee, has referred the provisions of the above Bill to the Committee for inquiry and report by 10 October 2006. The Minister's second reaching speech relating to the Bill is available for your information. The text of the Bill and other information relating to the inquiry may be accessed on the Committee's website at: http://www.aph.gov.au/senate_ca =20 The Committee invites written submissions relating to the Bill which should be lodged by Friday, 22 September 2006. The Committee prefers to receive submissions electronically as an attached document - email: community.affairs.sen@aph.gov.au ? otherwise by fax (number 02 6277 5829). The Committee intends to hold a public hearing on the Bill in Melbourne on 29 September and in Canberra on 4 October 2006. Should you require further information please contact the Committee Secretariat on (02) 6277 3515. =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Well done for those three CSAs/TVCs. I enjoyed the laugh - I particularly enjoyed the hats on those disapproving women on the bus (in the second one)!=20 For the future, may I suggest something: let's have some that highlight men doing it tough, including raising teenagers, and hanging in there (with and without wives/partners) just as our wives and partners hang in there with us!=20 Speaking personally, I enjoyed the early years and like most men I love 'my dad is my best friend' (when it was true) but most of the mums I talk to (even of young kids) wish their partners were more willing to balance up the playful side with some clear, skilled parenting. I could also question whether men are really as dumb as they appear in these CSAs but I really have no argument with that! Hope you're keeping well. Keep up the great work, =20 Noel Giblett Manager Counselling Services Lifeline WA noelgiblett@lifelinewa.org.au =20 =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 While my wife & I do not particularly encourage burping at the meal table, we do engage in burping competitions with our kids from time to time! Great fun. The kids think it is a hoot. =20 =20 Kind regards Steve Blizard =20 =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * TRAINING COURSES Code WWM 3 =20 Working with Men Accredited Course =20 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 20,21,22 September & 15,16,17 November 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm North Parramatta =20 =20 Code EIT 16 Hey, Dad for Separated Fathers Facilitator Training Wednesday, Thursday 25,26 October 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm North Parramatta =20 Code EIT 17 Fathers' Matters Program - Facilitator Training for an Intensive Group Program Monday, Tuesday 4&5 December 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm At Macarthur =20 To register: To obtain an application form for this training, call Maureen Micallef at Burnside on 02 9768 6811 or email mmicallef@burnside.org.au or visit the web site www.burnside.org.au and follow the prompts to Resources and Training back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Dear God =20 Help me be there in the moment. Help me be there for all time. My children need my heart. My children need my mind. My joy is not in the things I own or things I cannot do. My joy is simply found=20 in being there just for you. back to top=20 =20 Help Us Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.=20 Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund=20 (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558=20 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_2D2C_01C6DA30.57A1E170 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 211 - 11 th September, 2006 Go to our website Here


Hello Warwick

 

Fathering from the Fast Lane is without doubt one of the best books on fathering written by an Australian author that I know. Dr Bruce Robinson (http://www.brucerobinson.com.au/)  has become a friend of mine.  He is a devoted father of four and a passionate advocate for excellence in fathering.

 

Bruce is also passionate about his sport. When I last visited Perth, Western Australia he insisted on taking me to the 'Holy Grail of Australian rules ' - the Subiaco Oval so that we could watch the West Coast Eagles beat some obscure team from Victoria.

 

Dr Bruce Robinson is currently overseas on a study tour but he spoke so clearly to us on Thursday night, it was as if he was the in the same room.  In a way he was. On Thursday night we watched a DVD of Dr Bruce Robinson at our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course.  The subject was 'Friendship and Fun with Your Family'.

 

In this topic Bruce invites dads to get on the Fatherhood BUS:

 

B - Being there for your children

U - Unconditional love

S - Make your child feel SPECIAL

 

Bruce divides 'being there' into being with our children and being there for our children. He asked the poignant question, "Do our children really know that we will always be there for them no matter what?" A difficult question to answer, as so much of our love is conditional, meaning that we will love people if they do certain things for us.  We often apply do this to our children.  I was not the only one shifting uneasily in my seat that night.

 

 Secondly Bruce spoke about 'U', unconditional love.  My good friend Wayne Larkin has often said to me that we need to re-define love because our society has pretty well destroyed the word 'love'. Wayne believes we have to add the word 'unconditional' to the front end of love to help give it real meaning.  I'm sure Bruce Robinson would agree with him.

 

Bruce told a story of a famous female singer, who was leading a pretty wild and sordid lifestyle, who decided to go back to visit her small home town in rural USA. Her father made himself scarce and left town rather than put up with the shame associated with her visit to his small tight knit community. A few months later that same singer died from a drug overdose. Her name, for those who can still remember the sixties, was Janis Joplin.  Some say that if you can remember the sixties, you probably didn't live through them. Janis Joplin certainly didn't survive those tumultuous times.  Bruce's question was, "Would she have died if her father had welcomed her back with unconditional love?" a question that will never really be answered, but certainly a prevalent question on teenage suicide notes.&nb! sp; 'Nobody is there for me'  or 'nobody loves me' is a very common note written by teenagers who suicide.

 

Thirdly Bruce spoke about the need for making our children feel special. At Good to Great this week I asked the men to talk about their fathers and how he made them feel special. One man shared how his dad used to invite him to hang out with him while they worked in his truck over the summer holidays.  They used to fix gear boxes, replace motors and have wonderful messy times together. He felt special because his Dad took time to be with him. Another shared how he grew up in a very poor family with seven siblings. He said his dad would share his meat with his children at the dinner table, often only having a potato or small amount of rice left for himself. 

 

Such stories are examples of fathers who were able to make their children feel special and who have multiplied the fruit of their love and commitment to future generations in more ways than one.  Let's follow in their footsteps.

 

Lovework

 

Make your children feel special this week and have some fun at the same time. If you do they will never forget it.

 

Yours for making our children feel special.

Warwick Marsh

 

PS Good to Great is going well.  We have received numerous enquiries about running the course in other areas.  That is our goal.  If you would like to assist us in helping other fathers benefit from Good to Great, why not make a tax deductible donation today and invest in future generations.  Details on how to give are found in the 'Help' section of this newsletter.

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

Too much love never spoils children,

children become spoiled

when we substitute 'presents' for 'presence'.

 

Dr Anthony P Witham

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Laughter

Kid's Prayers
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Single Dads

 

Call to Action

By Simon Hunt

 

Dear Friends

 

Please put your own name to the following letter and submit it to you local editor of your local paper.

Please feel free to change anything you want.

Please follow up by phone to 'connect' with the editor so it gets published.

This personalised mass submission system (PMS) is especially effective in country regions where editors feel under pressure to support their community and where local MPs are more easily influenced. Also it avoids the Gender Separatist censorship common in the metro papers.

 

Regards

Simon Hunt

03 5973 6933

0414 415 693

email@dashlite.com.au  

 

 

Letter to the editor

 

The Judiciaries approach to criminal and commercial matters is entirely appropriate. i.e.: they decide who the culprit is and who the victim is and punish or compensate them respectively. This does not work in Family Law where a child's best interests are served by protecting them from having one of their parents vilified and excluded. Young children's sense of identity is of course strongly associated with their parents. It causes them enormous distress to have one of them removed from their lives. It also exposes them to higher risk of abuse and neglect. You can go into the Family Court on any day of the week and see Judges handing down orders that reduce father's access to their children to less than two days a fortnight - sometime no 'Contact' at all, o! ften banning telephone contact as well, in response to allegations of 'abuse'.

 

They are now supposed to give dads 'significant or substantial time' with their kids - but

only if they first decide dad can share 'responsibility' and if there no allegations of abuse.

 

Mediation through the new Family Relationship centres won't change anything. All of them are run by organizations that made submissions opposing equal time shared parenting to the Government enquiry into Family Law. This, despite the overwhelming support of shared parenting by ordinary Australians. The so called reforms to family law represent a cruel deception, raising false hopes of fathers who desperately want to stay involved with their children. Instead the very complexity of the legislation bolters the fees of the lawyers and practitioners who feed off the misery of children and their parents. Until children are protected from having one of their parents vilified and removed, Family Law will continue to be a cruel hoax perpetrated against our precious children for profit.

 

Kind regards

(insert your name)

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All you need is Love

 

FILMMAKERS LOOKING FOR LASTING LOVE IN SALT LAKE

Deseret Morning News

September 14, 2006

By Elaine Jarvik

 

He remembers one of the older couples telling him that "when you share your life with someone, you're going to be uncomfortable some of the time, and I don't know if your generation can put up with that."

 

Mat Boggs is related to a lot of people whose marriages have ended in divorce, including his twice-divorced father, who is a marriage counselor. So Boggs decided it might be best to look for role models elsewhere.

 

Jason Miller, back left, and Mat Boggs interview Vera and George Schrader in downtown Salt Lake for a documentary on marriage.

 

"I wanted to go to people who had walked the talk," says the 29-year-old Boggs, who with his buddy Jason Miller began a quest to find the secrets to lifelong marriages. The 28-year-old bachelors, friends since the third grade in Oregon, are touring the country interviewing couples who have been married at least 40 years.

 

This week they're looking for love in Salt Lake City, which brought them on Wednesday to a love seat at the downtown Hilton Hotel. There, in a scene reminiscent of "When Harry Met Sally," several Utah couples took turns staring into a camera and talking about why they've stayed together.

 

Boggs and Miller's Project Everlasting has already produced a DVD, and a book that will be published next spring. Their current interviews will be part of a follow-up DVD.

 

In the beginning, says Miller, the two bachelors would ask lengthy, convoluted questions that reflected their own over-thought, 20-something preoccupations. And the answer would be something like "I don't know what you just asked me, but I love her."

 

Miller says he went on the tour "to be inspired to ever get into a marriage." At 28 he's been happily single, maybe even too comfortable, he says. He remembers one of the older couples telling him that "when you share your life with someone, you're going to be uncomfortable some of the time, and I don't know if your generation can put up with that."

 

From hundreds of hours of interviews, the two friends have pieced together some observations they hope will help them and other young people learn how to stay married. The major threads, not surprisingly, turn out to be acceptance, respect, marriage over work (and even over children), a desire to sacrifice for the other, and a realization that even if life takes a bad turn or the relationship itself temporarily sours, it's possible to make the

marriage last.

 

"There were three interviews in a row where they used the same word: stick-to-itiveness," Miller says. "It takes the perspective of a whole lifetime to understand that."

 

On Wednesday morning, Miller and Boggs interviewed two Utah couples, LaWanna and Larry Goodrich of Roy, and Vera and George Schrader of Salt Lake City. The Goodriches, who have been married 51 years, and the Schraders, who have been married 58, were nominated by their children and grandchildren after Project Everlasting got a plug on the "Today Show."

 

Neither Larry nor LaWanna could think of a time when they have ever really been mad at each other. Well, maybe that one time when they were trying to put tint on the back window of their car and the conversation went something like "Hold that up." "I am holding that up."

 

But during the first two years of the marriage, when they were just getting to really know each other, LaWanna wrote her mom to complain about something, maybe the way Larry rolled up the toothpaste, she can't remember, and her mom wrote back, "Now LaWanna, that's the ups and downs of married life, and you've just got to get used to it."

 

Like the Goodriches, the Schraders said that shared spiritual values have helped keep them together. And George noted that whenever he came home from work, Vera "always looked presentable. So I didn't have to look somewhere else." Even that one time when he came home to find that, after several years of asking if they could remodel the bathroom, Vera had taken a sledgehammer to the cabinets and the floor, they didn't get mad at each

other.

 

On the other hand, "certain couples can't agree on anything, but it still works for them," Miller says.

 

He says he and Boggs have noticed that some successful marriages seem to be between "good buds who wanted to do life together," and some couples seemed to "have just fallen into marriages." But a third group seems to have known from the first moment that they were destined for each other.

 

This last group is Miller's favorite. "They're the most in love, and it shows. They'll spend the whole interview staring at each other," he says. "And the way they sit together - you can't fit a ruler between them."

 

© 2006 Deseret News Publishing Company

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Thought of the Week

 

Let your children know

often that you love them

just the way they are.

 

Taken from 10 Commandments for Effective Fathers

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Special Feature


Steve Irwin on Family

Taken from Andrew Denton's Interview 6 October 2003

Full Transcript

http://www.abc.net.au/tv/enoughrope/transcripts/s960998.htm  

Andrew Denton: Do you ever get down? You talked about being frightened by human behaviour. What gets you down?

Steve Irwin: Um, I've been down, mate, I've been down, I've been way down. I've been down...I've been down as far as anyone can go down, mate. I lost my mum in a car crash. I went down, I went right down. I watched my dad suffer. I watched my whole family suffer. And I have never felt pain like that in my entire life, my friend. And what it did for me was it actually hammered home the whole family value thing and what it's like to have a family and you're all...everybody's someone's mum, you know? And I was down, I was down for the count. I was down for...two years I was down. Way down.

Andrew Denton: You...

Steve Irwin: Pain.

Andrew Denton: You truly adore your parents, don't you?

Steve Irwin: I love my parents just so much, mate. You know, like my mum... How'd you be, you know? I was born on her birthday, and all she ever did was just love me and prop me up and get me back out in there. And my dad - just the legend of the universe. When I was the tiniest little kid, Andrew, I'd look up at my dad and he was larger than life, he was just like this action hero. He was everything I wanted to be. And all I've done in my life is follow in his footsteps, mimic him and try to be him. And nowadays I just try to make him proud, mate. Yeah, I love my parents like nothing else. It's just... They are everything to me - absolutely everything. And the day that my mum went was the day I lost something. I lost something. I lost something really big.

Andrew Denton: It's interesting when you say you've mimicked your parents, you look up to your dad, you've basically carried on the family business. Do you have a sense of yourself as yourself? What will it be for you when your father goes? Will you be able to be yourself?

Steve Irwin: I see my dad getting older and older and older, and I must admit I'm scared, I'm really, really scared, that when I lose him that my life is going to change yet again. I am going to go down again. But I'm really lucky that I've got the most drop-dead gorgeous wife on earth, who is just so strong and so passionate and so Stevo-orientated.

 

LAUGHTER

Steve Irwin: No, mate, you wouldn't... She is... If I said, "Righto, sweetheart, today we're going to jump off a cliff," she'll go, "Righto." She'd pack a bag, though.

Andrew Denton: Yeah.

Steve Irwin: But she'd go, eh?

Andrew Denton: She's practical.

Steve Irwin: Yeah, I've got this thing...I've got the Terry factor, mate. I've got this wife that is so incredibly intelligent and strong that I reckon between us we'll get through it. And, of course, my daughter is like...she's going to be a Tibetan monk. She is, like, incredibly insightful. And when her gran died, she was very, very young but, you know, she'd hold my hand and she'd give me strength. And to this day, when I get an owie, like a croc bites me, you know, she'd put banana leaves on it and stuff, and, you know, make me feel good.

Andrew Denton: Yeah.

Steve Irwin: I guess when that time comes, because... I'm not sure what's going to happen but I've got some strong people, good strong family around me, mate.

Andrew Denton: You say that Terry's very Stevo-oriented.

Steve Irwin: Oh, yeah.

Andrew Denton: If Terry said to you, unlikely though this might be, "Steve, I want you to stop the travelling, I want you to just stay home," would you be prepared to do that? Does it work both ways? She'd jump over a cliff for you.

Steve Irwin: Absolutely, I'd do anything for her. Absolutely anything. My word. I got so lucky in 1992 when she walked into the zoo. I'm doing a crocodile demonstration, and I looked in the crowd. I'd been in the bush for two years catching crocs. Haven't seen any sheilas.

 

LAUGHTER So, yeah, I was hungry. And, um, come back and I'm doing a croc demo, and I look into the crowd and I see her and I'm, like, "Oh!" (Looks one way) "Whoa whoa whoa!" (Looks back at imaginary croc) To feed the croc, you know... Bloody croc tried to kill me and that. She stayed back and started talking to me and that was it - head over heels in love. And if she says to me, "That's it, we're stopping, we're doing this," then, well, I'd do it, because I know that she would not ask me to do that if it wasn't for the benefit of us - the family. It would have to be for the benefit of my daughter and our kid that's due to come. Otherwise she wouldn't ask. She's not that...you know, she's not that kind of sheila, you know? She's into what I'm into. She's as passionate about wildlife as I am. If I said, "Go up and stick your head in that elephant's bum," she'd ! do it, mate.

Andrew Denton: You're a smooth talker, Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin: I am, mate. I am. Romantic.

. . . . . . . .

Andrew Denton: What's your philosophy of fatherhood?

Steve Irwin: Um...my philosophy of fatherhood? You know, I just treat her exactly the same way as I would want to be treated. And, you know, the funny thing is, Andy, I treat my wildlife the same, you know? Like, if there was a croc there, I'd treat that croc like I'd treat my daughter, like I'd treat you, like I'd treat my wife, like I'd treat anyone. I treat things how I, in turn, would want to be treated. So my little kid, I just treat her how I want to be treated. You know how... My mum said, "You can't have ice-cream for breakfast." (Pretends to hand bowl to daughter) "Here, sweetheart, have it."

. . . . . . .

Steve Irwin: And, um... Sorry, sweetheart. But, um, we really, really wanted to have a boy, but now, you know, going through the ultrasound and all that, we've said to the obstetrician, "Look, don't tell us. We don't want to know," because it doesn't matter. It's not like we can throw it back. It's not like we're not going to keep it. And, um, lo and behold, Bindi wants a sister anyway. So Bindi, you know, she really wants a sister. The reason being, every single night of her life, even when we're up in Cape York Peninsula, just had a big day catching crocs... We sleep together, myself and my daughter, you know, always that's the last thing at night. We sit there and she wants to hear a 'Daddy story', and it always has to be, um..."What d! o you want to hear, sweetheart?" "I want a Daddy story." "OK." "I want it when you were a naughty boy." Like, I've got a thousand of those...or more! And, um, and so I've told her all these naughty-boy stories, so there's no way she wants a brother. 'Cause my sisters also tell Bindi how I was a pretty hectic sort of a brother to have - really heavy, really hectic.

. . . . .

Andrew Denton: What do you... What do you and Terry fight about? 'Cause all couples fight.

Steve Irwin: Yeah, we do. Yeah, oh, mate. The worst one we had was a bonzer. I said, "What is it? What are you so grumpy about? What do you hate about me?" She's like, "Oh, I can't believe you just take your shirts off, and throw them in the wash. Why don't you undo your buttons like a normal person?"

 

 

© 2006 ABC 

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News & Info

 

 

 

Encouraging Parents
too rare

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20392816-5007146,00.html

 

 

Brock affair 'shattered family'

By Michael Bodey and Alana Buckley-Carr

September 12, 2006 01:00am

Torn apart ... the former husband of Peter Brock's partner Julie Bamford says the relationship ruined two families. / News Limited picture

THE estranged husband of Peter Brock's partner, Julie Bamford, has spoken for the first time about how the motor racing champion had "wrecked two families".

Ron McCurdy said Brock's death last week only exacerbated the pain his family felt when Ms Bamford abruptly left him and their two children in May last year for what she described on Sunday as "an exceptional journey of love and growth".

"I'll try and help her through it if she wants," Mr McCurdy said of his wife of 36 years. "But she wouldn't want that because she didn't realise what she put us through when she left."

Mr McCurdy also poured scorn on Brock's contention that he and his partner of 28 years, Bev Brock, merely drifted apart before calling it quits last year.

"I feel very, very sorry for Bev," he said.

"Julie and Peter had been together for 15 years. What he said to everyone about falling out of love with Bev is crap."

Ms Brock last year released her book, Peter Brock - Living With a Legend, in which she wrote of the racing driver's philandering.  (

"Eventually, though, I made a decision. It was the early 90s and there had been one too many secretaries," she wrote.

Brock died when his Daytona sports coupe slammed into a tree at Gidgegannup, 40km east of Perth, on Friday, during the Targa West rally.

As police yesterday recovered the vehicle data acquisition system, or black box, from the wreckage of Brock's coupe, his family and Ms Bamford were preparing to accompany his body home to Melbourne today.

The data recorder will provide details of the car's movements including speed, braking, wheel slippage and steering-wheel angle when the vehicle crashed.

It is believed the Brock family has accepted an offer from the Victorian Government for a state funeral, the details of which will be announced today.

Mr McCurdy admitted he contemplated suicide when his wife left without warning. They have not divorced.

Although the two families were long-term friends, Mr McCurdy conceded he saw Ms Bamford and Brock's relationship brewing. "There was a bit of closeness there but I didn't think it would go that far."

Mr McCurdy said Bev and Julie regularly met with another close girlfriend to discuss Peter Brock's affairs, but that they no longer spoke to each other.

In July, Mr McCurdy was fined $700 and ordered to undertake an anger management course after an incident last year in which he punched Brock in the nose. That was the last contact between the mates of 15 years, who first met when their wives played sport together.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20394212-2,00.html

 _________________________________________________________________

Child Support Legislation Amendment

(Reform of the Child Support Scheme

 - New Formula and Other Measures) Bill 2006

The Senate, on the recommendation of the Selection of Bills Committee, has referred the provisions of the above Bill to the Committee for inquiry and report by 10 October 2006.

The Minister's second reaching speech relating to the Bill is available for your information. The text of the Bill and other information relating to the inquiry may be accessed on the Committee's website at: http://www.aph.gov.au/senate_ca

The Committee invites written submissions relating to the Bill which should be lodged by Friday, 22 September 2006. The Committee prefers to receive submissions electronically as an attached document - email: community.affairs.sen@aph.gov.au  ? otherwise by fax (number 02 6277 5829).

The Committee intends to hold a public hearing on the Bill in Melbourne on 29 September and in Canberra on 4 October 2006.

Should you require further information please contact the Committee Secretariat on (02) 6277 3515.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Well done for those three CSAs/TVCs. I enjoyed the laugh - I particularly enjoyed the hats on those disapproving women on the bus (in the second one)!

For the future, may I suggest something: let's have some that highlight men doing it tough, including raising teenagers, and hanging in there (with and without wives/partners) just as our wives and partners hang in there with us!

Speaking personally, I enjoyed the early years and like most men I love 'my dad is my best friend' (when it was true) but most of the mums I talk to (even of young kids) wish their partners were more willing to balance up the playful side with some clear, skilled parenting.

I could also question whether men are really as dumb as they appear in these CSAs but I really have no argument with that!

Hope you're keeping well.

Keep up the great work,

 

Noel Giblett

Manager Counselling Services

Lifeline WA

noelgiblett@lifelinewa.org.au

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

While my wife & I do not particularly encourage burping at the meal table, we do engage in burping competitions with our kids from time to time!

Great fun.  The kids think it is a hoot.    

 

Kind regards

Steve Blizard

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

TRAINING COURSES

Code  WWM 3

 

 Working with Men Accredited Course

 

 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 20,21,22 September & 15,16,17 November 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

          North Parramatta

  

 

Code  EIT 16

Hey, Dad for Separated Fathers Facilitator Training

Wednesday, Thursday 25,26 October 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

North Parramatta

 

Code  EIT 17

Fathers' Matters Program - Facilitator Training for an Intensive  Group Program

Monday, Tuesday 4&5 December 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

At Macarthur

  

To register:    To obtain an application form for this training, call Maureen Micallef at Burnside on 02 9768 6811 or email mmicallef@burnside.org.au  or visit the web site www.burnside.org.au  and follow the prompts to Resources and Training

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Dad's Prayer

 

 

 

Dear God

 

Help me be there in the moment.

Help me be there for all time.

My children need my heart.

My children need my mind.

My joy is not in the things I own

or things I cannot do.

My joy is simply found

in being there just for you.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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